Over the past five weeks I have learned a lot about myself, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my children, how I want my house to run, and the course I want my life to run. More than I can put into words, more than I care to put into words. I have taken offense, caused offense, felt resentful, felt less of a person, felt betrayed and been in need of some serious soul searching.
What I have learned from my experience is that if I am resentful I am more likely to take offense. We are all human, we all make mistakes, sure we will be hurt from time to time in our dealings with our fellow men but if the Savior can forgive me I need to be able to forgive others THEN forget. If I forgive and view the person as a brother or sister, a child of God, I am less likely to dwell on every little mistake they make and appreciate them for who they are. I don't need their forgiveness (it would be nice, but not always possible) to move on with my life.
I have had to take a deep look into my life. I don't need to be liked by everyone I come in contact with. Why is it we feel the need to feel acceptance from everyone? I am who I am! My family is who they are! I am trying my best to be who the Lord has molded me to be, and to find out who that person is. What more can he ask of me?
While talking with my clergyman about feeling inadequate he simply stated "Sister, by their fruits you shall know them." He went on to expressing all he has seen in me and gave me a little pep talk. No finger pointing, just a simple God loves you speech. Just what a broken heart needed.
May is a new month! I vow to use this month to going back to doing the things I love, to focus on finding out who I am, to moving on, and to loving those who matter most in my life-my family!
June is a month I get to surround myself with people who lift me up, who love me for who I am and never take the wind out of my sail! I truly have been blessed! Pressing forward