Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Random babblings...

1.I heard a talk recently referring to "wallowing in the mire" the phrase has stuck with me as it seem to explain my mood lately. Not sure what the exact meaning was I looked them up- "to wallow" is to to lie and roll about in water, mud, dust as for refreshment; to live self-indulgently, to surge up or billow as smoke or heat; (and my favorite, considering my current physical condition) to move with difficulty in a clumsy or rolling manner, to swell. "Mire" being a muddy swampy area with some depth, often entangling, where one is stuck fast, or sinks.
My insights- it is OK to wallow for a SHORT time as to refresh oneself but the more you roll about the harder it is to get out and get clean. At one point you have to let the smoke or heat loose just watch which way you direct it. Pregnancy automatically classifies me as wallowing ;)

2.If the spirit will not enter an unclean being should we expect it to enter an unclean, cluttered, dusty home?
Call it what you may "nesting," de-cluttering, putting a house in order...I have sorted through a great deal of the house and garage getting rid of unwanted, unused items and trash that has collected. I have been very frugal with what we have and organizing the house with what little means we have to do so. My desire to have a clean home, to know what we have and what our resources are is quite refreshing. We found food storage we had forgotten about, are reusing a forgotten set of draws for the baby's dresser, emptying bins with unsort mostly junk papers in them and filing what we need to keep.
This excitement, and desire for organization has not been welcomed by the rest of the family-especially the oldest one in the house leaving me feeling a little overwhelmed at times, and underappreciated. Increased whining and resistance on the everyday chores and responsiblities has left me letting go of what I really what to focus my energy on and to focus more on helping those around me accomplish their everyday chores. How does one keep a house of order, and a happy family without doing it all for them?!
3. Politics- There is a reason I hate them! They are time consuming, energy zapping, adicitive causes. I have often told Jake I am a jealous woman. These days politics are the source of my jealousy! My husband talks more to those politically involved, spends more effort on things of political nature, puts more research into the nations problems, spends more energy thinking about political ideas than he does his own home, his family, and his responisiblities it seems these days.
I am grateful it is an inexpensive hobby, so far!
I am sure some of this is my perception, my jealous nature showing through, and the "moody" side of pregnancy presenting itself- but how many times do you have to point blank tell a man something (no beating around the bush) before he listens and clues in?!4. Trials- we are all not exempt. They are there to keep us motivated and focused on the important. As we have tried to stick to a budget and had our small successes, we have also had our trials. This month we were planning on using a little money we had saved to buy the babies car seat as the one we used for the boys was given away after Rainey outgrew it (it was close to its expiration date back then). Instead we will be spending that money and then some on tires for Jakes car. His car has been making noises for a few weeks now, we have come to find out his tires have bubbles in them throwing the allignment off (he seems to think he can drive on them a while longer-I don't trust them). I am grateful it isn't something larger and costly, but at the same time I question the timing of all this. I have to remind myself things will work out, that this is just a trial of our commitment, we have time yet befor a car seat is needed, and Jake's saftey is more important at this point, as well as the cars matenance! But man just when you think you are making progress! Isn't that the way life is...5. Man I appreciate my mother a whole lot more these days and all the sacrifices she endured during my years at home. Motherhood is a humbling experience! Who would have thought a quite uninterupted shower, a few moments of silence before everyone wakes up, a half hour walk around the block, grocery shopping without kids in tow, or spending the whole day reading would be such a treat. Love you mom!!

3 comments:

KellyLady said...

amen. great post Chrissy!

Teresa said...

It is refreshing to hear someones true feelings on a blog. Thanks for sharing. I remember one time you told me you were jealous of me when you meet me, because I had 3 children, and could have them so easily. I remember thinking to myself, "yes, but having three small children comes with it's own difficulties." I guess you have experienced both sides of the fence now.
Hope things get better at your house. It seems to me that the fights with the kids are worth it. You are teaching them to work, and that sometimes they have to do things they don't want to do. Such valuable lesson.

JeriLynn said...

Anymore, I have to try really hard to focus on politics. Tell Jake sorry for me, but I'm glad I'm not part of the problem! ;)

And otherwise, I second what KellyLady said. :)